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  • Joseanne Spiteri

I Just Found out My Partner is Having an Affair

Discovering that your partner is having an affair can be one of the most devastating experiences in a relationship. It can shatter your trust, leave you feeling betrayed, and leave you wondering what went wrong. If you have just found out that your partner is having an affair, here are some things to consider as you navigate this difficult time.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

It is natural to feel a range of emotions when you find out that your partner is having an affair. You may feel angry, sad, hurt, betrayed, confused, and overwhelmed. It is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and not try to suppress them. Give yourself permission to cry, scream, or vent to a trusted friend or family member. Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself time to process them.

Don't blame yourself

When we are hurt, it can be easy to turn our anger and frustration inward and blame ourselves for our partner's infidelity. But it's important to remember that the choice to cheat was your partner's, and it is not your fault. It's important to remember that no matter what problems existed in your relationship, cheating is never the answer.

Consider the future of your relationship

Once the shock and initial emotions have subsided, it's important to think about the future of your relationship. Do you want to try to work things out with your partner, or do you feel that the trust has been irreparably broken? There is no right or wrong answer here, and it's important to take the time to think about what you want and what is best for you. If you do decide to try to work things out, it may be helpful to seek the assistance of a couples therapist to help you navigate this difficult time.

Take care of yourself

When we are going through a difficult time, it's easy to neglect our own needs. But it's important to remember that taking care of yourself is essential to your emotional and physical well-being. Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if you need it.

Communicate with your partner

If you decide to try to work things out with your partner, it's important to communicate openly and honestly. This can be difficult, especially if you are feeling hurt and betrayed, but it is essential to rebuilding trust in your relationship. Set clear boundaries and expectations for your relationship moving forward, and be prepared to listen to your partner's perspective as well.

Seek closure

Whether you decide to stay with your partner or end the relationship, it's important to seek closure. This may involve seeking closure with your partner, or it may involve seeking closure within yourself. This could mean forgiveness, letting go of anger, or seeking closure through therapy or other self-care practices.

Discovering that your partner is having an affair can be an incredibly painful experience. But it's important to remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this difficult time. Take care of yourself, seek support from friends and family, and don't be afraid to seek the assistance of a therapist or counselor if you need it. Remember, healing takes time, but with patience, self-care, and support, you will get through this.


If you need support getting through this difficult time, contact us at www.georgetowncouplestherapy.com. We're here to help.




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