Busting 5 Common Couples Therapy Myths

Couples therapy gets a bad rap. Unfortunately, much of the world thinks that therapy is a sign of weakness, and that couples who need them are in failed relationships, trying to prevent a divorce. Couples therapy is not a last resort tool, it can be a preventative tool to help you and your partner grow together through life's highs and lows. This blog outlines many of the harmful myths that have led to these harmful stereotypes, and the real truth behind these myths.

Myth: “The only people who need couples therapy are in a failing relationship”

Truth: Couples therapy, and therapy in general is not just for times of crisis, many couples seek therapy to help improve minor, or major aspects of their relationship, or just strengthen their bond. Yes, some couples might be in a bad place when they arrive, and therapy might guide them back to each other, or it could help them see why separation might be the best for them. Couples therapy is an essential tool to help couples who might already be experiencing problems, but it can also be preventative and help strengthen your bond, improve communication, and teach conflict resolution strategies. 

Myth: Couples therapy will “fix” my partner. 

Truth: Couples therapy actually focuses on working on both partners' behaviour, not just one. Many people believe their partner is the “issue” in their relationship, and enter therapy believing that a therapist will help “fix” them. This mindset is harmful, and can backfire for many reasons. 

Couples therapists will help to identify unhealthy patterns that can lead to conflicts, show partners how they both feed into these patterns, and then provide exercises to work on. Change in a relationship requires consistent effort from both partners, if only one person is trying, the relationship won't improve. 

Myth: “If we need couples therapy, we must be doomed already”

Truth: Because there are such negative stereotypes associated with couples therapy, people often view those who visit them as weak, or doomed. But in reality, seeking help is actually a great sign that you are committed to change. Getting help from a therapist doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy, it means you are both willing to fight for your relationship. 

Couples therapists also don't just solve your relationship issues, they can help you improve your intimacy, strengthen co-parenting dynamics, address issues with your children, navigate life transitions and much more. Couples counselling is a preventative tool that you and your partner can use to build your lives together. It’s never easy to admit when you need help, but seeking the help of a couples counsellor can truly benefit.

Myth: “A stranger can't fix my relationship”

Truth: Couples therapists are not here to “fix” your relationship, just like personal trainers aren't there to do the workouts for you. Similar to a personal trainer, couples therapists can teach your proper techniques, correct your form, and keep you and your partner accountable. 

Couples therapists create a safe space to ask questions that provide them with insight to your relationship, offer their unbiased perspective, uncover unhealthy patterns, and then provide you with evidence based communication techniques. You aren't handing your relationship over to a “stranger” - you are seeking the help of a professional to guide you and your partner through a healing journey, provide skills, and help you grow together, because the real change comes from you and your partner. 

Myth: “We should be able to fix this on our own without a therapist”

Truth: When we spot a leaky faucet, or in need of home repairs, people often hire professionals to do the job right. Just like plumbers, mechanics, or doctors, couples therapists are experts in their field. Couples therapists can help provide professional advice, insight, and techniques that couples may never discover on their own. 

Although it's natural to think we know our relationship best, and that your love for each other should be enough to make it work, having an outside perspective can help you spot unhealthy patterns, and blind spots. Couples therapists provide evidence based tools to help improve communication, rebuild trust, find unhealed wounds, and deepen your emotional connection. Just like you wouldn't hesitate to call a plumber to fix a broken pipe, don't hesitate to reach out for professional advice for your relationship.

Book a session to start your journey today! Call us on 416 949 9878 or reach out to info@georgetowncouplestherapy.com for more info. We're here to help.