How Emotional Openness Strengthens Trust and Connection, Breaking Down Walls Between Partners
- Feb 2
- 3 min read
Emotional openness is the backbone of a deep emotional relationship with your partner. But how do we break down those walls that won’t seem to go down?
What is Emotional Openness?
The first step to being vulnerable is understanding what emotional openness is and is not. It is:
Being honest with yourself and your partner about how you are feeling. Lying protects us from how we really feel, and does not promote authentic vulnerability.
The ability to communicate how you feel even when it feels difficult.
On the other hand emotional openness is not:
Constantly dumping your feelings on your partner without any boundaries.
What makes emotional openness so difficult?
Sharing your emotions puts you in a vulnerable position. We naturally want to protect ourselves from the harm we are prone to when we open up about our feelings. We may have had past experiences of rejection or abandonment which cause emotional walls to build up. But when we fail to acknowledge and share our emotions, we lack the emotional depth that supports our relationship.
Why is Openness so Important?
Being open and honest about your emotions allows for a deeper connection in your relationship. It allows you to share every part of yourself with your partner and in-turn build trust that you will be supported in times of emotional need. Emotional openness also allows you to deal with your emotions as they come rather than suppressing them until they overflow. Practices as simple as identifying your emotions without judgement can minimize emotional exhaustion for both you and your partner!
How To Be More Emotionally Open
Start with yourself. Can you identify your emotions as you feel them? Are you able to do this without critique or judgement? Being able to identify your feelings is the first step to being open about them. Furthermore, talk about your emotions as they come up: open conversation about feelings doesn’t have to be limited to times of conflict.
Second, acknowledge how talking about your emotions makes you feel. Does it make you feel uneasy? Relieved? A mix of both? Acknowledge that being open about your emotions makes you vulnerable which can be scary, and that it’s normal to feel this way. When this happens, try to utilize soothing strategies when your emotions feel overwhelming to share. To read more about soothing yourself and your partner click the button below:
Start small. Being open with your emotions can be as simple as stating what emotion you are experiencing in the moment. Being vulnerable doesn’t always have to be a huge confession.
How to Respond to Your Partner Opening Up:
It is important that each partner in a relationship is receptive to the other's emotions. Being closed off may signal to your partner that you aren’t there to support them. Try the following tips to show your partner you are responsive:
Try listening rather than providing solutions. Sometimes people want to be heard and validated more than they need a solution.
Validate how they are feeling. Everyone responds to experiences in different ways.
Try to gain an understanding of how they feel by asking questions. Showing you are trying to understand signals to your partner you care about how they feel.
While emotional openness can be scary, it fosters deep meaningful connections with your partner. If communicating your emotions with your partner becomes too overwhelming, our team of couples therapists are here to support you.
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