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Wondering What to do when You and Your Partner have Different Sex Drives?

When dealing with a partner who has a different sex drive than you, it is crucial to approach the issue using the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This approach focuses on the emotional bond between partners and how to strengthen it by creating a safe, secure, and loving connection. Here are some strategies that may help you deal with this issue:

  1. Communicate openly: Open communication is key to building and maintaining a strong emotional bond. It is essential to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your different sex drives. When discussing how you both feel about your sex life, your needs, and desires, it's important to approach the conversation with empathy and compassion, using "I" statements to express your feelings without attacking or blaming your partner.

  2. Find a compromise: Finding a compromise that works for both partners is crucial for building a secure and safe connection. It's essential to create a safe and non-judgmental environment where both partners can express their needs and feelings. When finding a compromise, it's important to be willing to explore different options and to be open to trying new things.

  3. Be respectful: Respecting your partner's boundaries and desires, even if they are different from your own, is crucial. It's important to validate your partner's feelings and to avoid pressuring or shaming them for their lower sex drive. When you show your partner that you understand and respect their feelings, it creates a safe and secure emotional bond.

  4. Seek professional help: Seeking professional help is a valuable resource for building and maintaining a strong emotional bond. If the issue is causing significant tension and conflicts in your relationship, consider seeking the help of a trained therapist who can help you work through the issue and strengthen your emotional bond.

Remember that dealing with different sex drives is a common issue in many relationships. By approaching the issue with empathy, compassion, and a willingness to work together, you can build a stronger emotional bond with your partner and find a solution that works for both of you.

If you'd like support about desire discrepancies in your relationship, feel free to connect with an EFT therapist at Couples Therapy Centre. or call 416 949 9878 for more info.


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