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Joseanne Spiteri

Tips for When you Partner Refuses to Attend Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can be a helpful tool for many couples struggling with issues in their relationship. However, it is not uncommon for one partner to be resistant to attending therapy. This can be a difficult situation to navigate, as therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to the process. Here are some tips for what to do if your partner does not want to attend couples therapy.

  1. Communicate your feelings and concerns: It is important to express to your partner why you feel that couples therapy would be beneficial for your relationship. Let them know that you are not trying to blame or criticize them, but that you want to work together to improve your relationship. Be sure to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements to avoid putting your partner on the defensive.

  2. Listen to your partner's perspective: It is important to understand why your partner is resistant to therapy. They may have concerns about the process, or they may feel that it is unnecessary. Listen to their concerns without judgement and try to address them as best you can. It may also be helpful to explore whether there are any underlying issues that are causing their resistance.

  3. Compromise on a different approach: If your partner is not willing to attend traditional couples therapy, consider other approaches that may be more appealing to them. For example, you could try online therapy, relationship coaching, or a couples workshop. It is important to find an approach that both partners feel comfortable with and committed to.

  4. Focus on self-improvement: Even if your partner is not willing to attend therapy, you can still work on improving yourself and your relationship. Focus on areas where you can make positive changes, such as communication or self-care. This can help to create a more positive and supportive environment for your relationship to grow.

  5. Seek support from others: If your partner is not willing to attend therapy, it can be helpful to seek support from other sources. This may include talking to trusted friends or family members, joining a support group for couples, or seeking individual therapy for yourself. While these options may not be a substitute for couples therapy, they can still provide valuable support and guidance.

  6. Revisit the conversation at a later time: It is possible that your partner may be more open to the idea of couples therapy at a later time. Avoid pushing or pressuring them to attend therapy if they are not ready. Instead, focus on building a strong foundation for your relationship and communicating your needs and concerns in a loving and respectful way.

It can be challenging when one partner does not want to attend couples therapy. However, by communicating openly, compromising on a different approach, focusing on self-improvement, seeking support from others, and revisiting the conversation at a later time, you can still work towards improving your relationship. Remember that therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to the process, so it is important to find an approach that works for both of you.


Contact one of our therapists today to discuss options at www.georgetowncouplestherapy.com or 416 949 9878



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