So You've Discovered Your Love Language, Now What?

So, you’ve figured out your love language and discovered how you best receive and give love. It's exciting to find out how you prefer to be loved. Now what? Whether your love language is words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service or physical touch, this new discovery might be game changing in your relationships.  

Getting a deeper understanding of your love language is just the beginning. The real magic happens when you learn how to apply this knowledge, not only in your romantic relationships, but in self-love, family dynamics, friendships, and even your professional life. Even if you and your partner/loved ones have different love languages, understanding and adapting to each other’s ways of giving and receiving love can strengthen your relationship in meaningful and lasting ways. In this blog, we will go over some of the ways to use your love language to improve your communication, deepen your connections, and create more fulfilling relationships. 

Understanding Your Love Language on a Deeper Level 

Love languages are not fixed, or a one size fits all labels that define exactly how we give and receive love. Our love languages can shift over time, evolve with ourselves and our relationships, and give us a deeper understanding of our emotional needs.  

How to Navigate Different Love Languages.

Your love language influences how you show love to other people as well as how you want to be loved. If you're an acts-of service person, you may enjoy cooking or running errands for other people. However, your partner may be seeking words rather than action if they thrive on words of affirmations. The difficult part of love languages is realizing that what meets your needs may not necessarily meet those of others. The two keys that unlock your ability to express your wants while simultaneously satisfying your partners are - knowing your own love language and mastering theirs. If you have recently learned that words of affirmation are your primary love language, and receiving gifts is your best friend’s, you can express your love language, while fulfilling theirs with gifts like a handmade letter, or a scrapbook with handwritten notes. The most important thing you can do if you are struggling to understand someones love language is to talk about it, openly and honestly, asking them how they want to be love, while expressing your needs as well.

The Importance of Balance - Appreciating all Five Love Languages

Focusing on your primary love language may seem easy, but to become truly emotionally fluent, you try to embrace all five. You may increase your chances of connecting with friends, family, and oneself in addition to romantic partners by learning how you could value certain love languages in your life. You maybe just discovered that quality time is your primary love language, but, if you embrace the other four, you might notice how acts of service like coming home to a clean kitchen eases your stress, or how physical touch like a hug makes you happy after a long day. Don't be afraid to explore all the love languages, you might be limiting yourself from finding more ways that you be giving and receiving love.  

Applying Your Love Language in Self-Love 

Once you understand your love language on a deeper level and learn ways to embrace it, you can begin to apply it into the way that you love yourself. Learning your love language when you learn how you want to be loved, you can adapt that into how you show yourself love. One of the ways you can do this is by tailoring your self-care routine to your love language. If you are an acts of service person, decluttering your space, or taking a bath to recharge your body are great ways to show yourself love.  

Acts of Service

• Declutter your space

• Book an appointment you have been putting off

• Cook a fun meal 

• Take a bath 

• Volunteer

• Check something off your to-do list

• Have a self-care day

Physical Touch 

• Create a skincare routine 

• Give yourself a massage, or book one for yourself

• Schedule a hair or nail appointment 

• Use body oils or lotions after a shower 

• Pleasure yourself 

• Exfoliate 

• Dry brush your skin 

• Give yourself a scalp massage

Quality Time 

• Go on a walk or hike 

• Go to a cafe

• Explore nature 

• Meditate

• Enjoy sunset or sunrise

• Wake up early to spend time alone before your day 

• Cook a nice meal for yourself read a book 

• Journal 

• Do some yoga or stretching 

Receiving Gifts

• Buy yourself some flowers

• Take a course or class 

• Take yourself out for dinner

• Invest in your hobbies

• Buy a new candle 

• Write a note to your future self

• Get a plant

• Book a self-care appointment 

• Splurge on something you've been wanting 

• Start a new project 

• Invest in your business 

Discovering your love language is just the beginning - what truly matters is how you use that information to make your life, and your relationships more fulfilling. While love languages give us a better understanding of how we give and receive love they aren't strict labels we have to live by. The bottom line is that your love language is a tool for self-awareness, but it doesn't teach us everything about ourselves. We can use it as a starting point to explore what makes us feel loved - and what makes those around us feel loved and appreciated. By embracing all five of the love languages, you open yourself up to more enriched, meaningful connections with your romantic partners, friends, family members, and even work colleagues. Learning the language of love is like mastering any other language - the more fluent you are, the deeper your connection grows. 

Invest in yourself and/or your relationship, by calling 416 949 9878 or info@georgetowncouplestherapy.com. We offer free consultations to help you find the best fit.