Emotional Flooding- Part 2- Taking a Break (the right way)
- Joseanne Spiteri
- 22 hours ago
- 2 min read
Taking a Break (the Right Way): How to Pause Without Pushing Your Partner Away
When a conversation with your partner starts to spiral—voices raise, emotions spike, or one of you shuts down—it might be time to take a break. But here’s the thing: how you take that break matters just as much as taking it in the first place.
Done right, a pause can protect your connection and prevent damage during moments of emotional flooding. Done wrong, it can feel like abandonment, avoidance, or even punishment.
Let’s break down how to take a break the right way.
Why Take a Break at All?
When you're emotionally overwhelmed, your brain actually loses access to the parts that help you communicate calmly and think logically. You might say things you don’t mean, or go completely silent and shut your partner out. Either way, the conversation stalls—or worse, causes harm.
Taking a break isn’t giving up; it’s a skill. It’s what emotionally secure couples do to protect their bond when things get too intense.
What Taking a Break Is Not:
It’s not storming off in the middle of a sentence.
It’s not giving the silent treatment.
It’s not disappearing with no explanation.
And it’s definitely not using space as a way to punish or control.
All of those behaviors trigger insecurity in your partner and make it harder to repair later.
How to Take a Break That Builds Safety
Name It Before You Need It When you’re not in conflict, talk with your partner about what emotional flooding looks like for each of you and agree on how to handle it. That way, taking a break feels like a mutual tool—not a surprise.
Use Clear, Reassuring Language In the moment, say something like:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. I care about you and this conversation, and I need a short break to calm down so we can come back to this in a better way.”
Let them know:
Why you're stepping away
That you're not abandoning the conversation
When you plan to return (e.g., "Can we check back in 30 minutes?")
Actually Regulate A break isn’t scrolling on your phone and replaying the argument in your head. It’s about calming your body. Go for a walk. Breathe deeply. Listen to music. Stretch. Cry. Journal. Whatever helps you feel more grounded—do that.
Return and Repair Don’t just leave things hanging. Come back and check in. You might say:
“I feel more clear-headed now. Are you ready to pick up where we left off, or do we need more time?”
Sometimes you’ll be able to finish the conversation. Other times, the break gives you both space to see that maybe it’s not as urgent—or that you’re ready to approach it more softly.
Taking a break isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
When you learn to pause with care, you’re not avoiding your partner—you’re protecting the connection. And that, over time, builds trust and emotional safety.
Stay tuned to Part 3 of our blog, where we will focus on co-regulation and self-regulation strategies.
For more information on how one of our therapists can assist your relationship, please contact info@georgetowncouplestherapy.com.
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